Divorce as a foreign national in Germany raises a question most German couples never face: which country's law even applies? The answer often is not the country you married in, or the one on your passport — and it changes almost everything that follows.
1. Which country, which law
Two separate questions, and they can have different answers.
Where can you divorce? German courts generally have jurisdiction where the couple lives here, or where one spouse does, depending on nationality and how long they have been resident.
Whose law applies? That is decided by European rules which point primarily to where the couple last lived together — so a German court may end up applying German law to a couple who married elsewhere and hold no German passport. Spouses can also agree a choice of law, within limits.
Where more than one country could hear the case, which one is chosen can materially change maintenance, pensions and how assets are divided. That makes it worth taking advice before filing anywhere — this is one of the few areas where moving first genuinely matters.
2. The separation year
German law does not ask who was at fault. It asks whether the marriage has broken down, and it normally requires the couple to have lived separated for a year before a divorce is granted.
Two points people get wrong:
- Separation does not require separate flats. Living apart within the same home counts, provided the household is genuinely divided — separate finances, no shared cooking or laundry. That matters where nobody can afford to move out yet.
- The date matters and may need to be evidenced later. Note when separation began and tell someone — a diary entry, a message, a letter — rather than reconstructing it a year on.
Where both spouses agree the marriage is over, the year is usually enough. Where one contests it, longer periods and hardship exceptions come into play.
3. How a German divorce actually runs
Divorce goes through the family court, and there is a structural point worth knowing early: you cannot file for divorce without a lawyer. The spouse who files needs representation.
The other spouse does not strictly need their own lawyer to consent to a straightforward divorce — which is where couples try to save money by "sharing" one. A lawyer cannot represent both sides. The unrepresented spouse has nobody advising them on maintenance, pensions or assets, and that is usually where the real money is. If there is anything to divide, that saving is rarely a saving.
4. Money: maintenance, pensions, assets
- Pension rights are split automatically. The Versorgungsausgleich divides pension entitlements built up during the marriage as a standard part of German divorce, unless excluded. Foreign pension entitlements complicate it and are frequently overlooked.
- Assets are not pooled. Under the default regime each spouse keeps what is theirs; what is shared is the growth in each spouse's net assets across the marriage, with the better-off spouse owing half the difference (Zugewinnausgleich). This surprises people who expect either full pooling or none.
- Maintenance comes in separate strands — for the period of separation, after divorce, and for children — assessed on different principles. Post-divorce spousal maintenance is not automatic; it depends on circumstances such as childcare, age, health and earning capacity.
- Child maintenance follows published tables based on the paying parent's income and the children's ages.
A marriage contract may change several of these. So may an agreement reached now — and settling by agreement is usually faster, cheaper and less damaging than litigating.
5. Children
German law starts from joint parental responsibility continuing after divorce. Sole custody is the exception, not the default, and children generally have a right to contact with both parents.
The point that most affects international families: taking a child to live in another country without the other parent's consent can be treated as abduction, even where that country is home and even where you have custody. It can be reversed by court order under international conventions, quickly, and it does lasting damage to your position.
If you are considering moving abroad with your children, get advice first. This is the single most consequential mistake made in cross-border family cases, and it is usually made by parents acting in good faith.
6. If your residence permit came through the marriage
A permit granted for the purpose of joining a spouse is tied to that marriage — but separation does not automatically end your right to stay. There is an independent right of residence after the marriage has lasted a qualifying period in Germany, and hardship provisions exist where it has not, particularly in cases involving violence.
Be aware that the immigration authority may be informed of the separation. If your status depends on the marriage, treat that as an immediate, parallel issue and read our immigration guide alongside this one. Nobody should stay in a dangerous marriage because they believe leaving means leaving the country.
7. What it costs
Court and lawyer fees are calculated from a value set mainly by the spouses' income and assets, so an uncomplicated divorce between people of modest means is far cheaper than the figures people quote to each other. Legal aid (Verfahrenskostenhilfe) is available where income is low, and covers both court and lawyer costs.
What drives cost up is contested side issues — maintenance, assets, contact — argued point by point. Resolving those by agreement, with advice, is almost always the cheaper path.